I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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