would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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