Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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