You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
