just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize