I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
