Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
