Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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