I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
