mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
