TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
