I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
