i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
