if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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