they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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