he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
