Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
