So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize