If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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