let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
