I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
