1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
