you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Enjoy the penises
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
