dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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