You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
