dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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