Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
