Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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