Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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