Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
