thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
