He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
