So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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