I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize