By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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