She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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