Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
