hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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