Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
