Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
