And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
