haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
