your thong is hanging out like whoa
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
