At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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