Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
