I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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