Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
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I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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