You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
