I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
