I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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