i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
