How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
People in love make me want to vomit
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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