Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
