You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
