I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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