She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
